How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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