Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
