ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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