Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
