Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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