It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
They have beer where we have blood.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
