Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
