it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
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For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
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After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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