You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
