Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
