Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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