My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
