I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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