sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant