how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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