My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize