i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I had to cum in my sink.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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