apparently the secret to your success is patron
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So vagazzling was a success
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
