Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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