Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
