Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I queefed so loud it echoed.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
