Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
