so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
