Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
