I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
