I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
