I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
