My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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