I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wish you could order shots online.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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