I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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