Where did you get a picture of my penis
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
