is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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