Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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