the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
