he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
