you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
