Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
