Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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