dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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