Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
