Im at strip club and am horny
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
