I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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