she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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