Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
