Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
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That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
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We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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