Sorry, I don't speak sober.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I didn't notice because vodka
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
