I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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