I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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