drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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