I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
