i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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