There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
