A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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