pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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