i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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