Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
