I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
