She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
my liver is dry heaving
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
