On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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