I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
